stick up

Give it up.
It's over and you know it.
Stop the struggling.
It will only make things worse
You know you'll never get out of it this time.
You feel it in your bones.
Everything inside you screams to just raise your hands.
I will never let you go.

Surrender to me.

because i love you.

When I first looked into your eyes, I felt a fission of attraction. You smiled at me, and I got flustered and looked away. But there was always something about you that caught my eye. The way you moved your hands, the little laugh you let out before you finished a joke and the spring in your step when you walked my way. Everything you did pulled me in tighter and tighter. There was no escaping this.

At first, we fought. You were rude and I was bitchy. But then it became flirty banter, little jokes that would end in a hug. I thought you felt the same way, I knew there was something between us. But then, as I worked up the courage to tell you, you said it. You told me about this amazing girl, you told me you were in love. I saw the glimmer in your cornflower blue eyes, the same glimmer that I held for you. I pasted a smile on my face, and I encouraged you. Anything for you to be happy.

That was about a year ago. Your still with the same girl, and I can see your good together. But when I see you and her together, I can't help but cringe with longing on the inside. I was willing to give up everything I felt for you, even though I knew I would treat you a thousand times better than she ever could. Just so that you could be happy. And I would do it a thousand times over. Why?

Because I love you.

Growing Up.

As we grow older, we grow cynical and bitter.
One by one, we morph into what we hated and conspired against.
We gradually become ordinary and bland, until we disappear altogether.
You might say now that you'd never lose yourself.
You'll struggle and strive, you'll clutch at your individuality.
And then, you'll become to weak to fight the current.
You'll loosen your grip and watch your soul slip away from you,
Into a crowd of incipid, monotonous clones.
And then, after all the battling of the inevitable,
You'll vanish forever.

games.

Scars and damaged tissue are the physical reminders of how devastatingly cruel you can really be. But the destruction you left me emotionally, that was catastrophic. You tore me up purely to amuse yourself, it was your little game. A game which left me broken and useless. You destroyed the only shred of dignity I had left, with a twinkle in those wide eyes. I couldn't even try to stop you, I didn't want to. You watched my expression flash with anguish, before distanced myself from the pain. I took it all with a smile pasted on my face and my mouth dry, and I watched as you ripped my innocence from me. I just let it all go. Because I know how to play your game.

the end of us.

Once upon a time, you meant the world to me.
You were my safe haven,
I bared my soul for you.
I gave up everything to you with sincerity,
And never asked for anything in return.
I don't understand what drew me to you.
Perhaps it was your the look of permanent anguish in your eyes,
Or our fights which ended in passionate kissing and apologies.
Maybe the adrenaline of how wrong we were together,
Like polar opposites.

I can remember the moment I fell for you.
You were staring from the corner,
Looking out of place and awkward.
Everyone around me stared at you with disdain.
But I saw something else in you.
After a minute of conversation, I saw your heart.
I only glimpsed it before you hid it away from me,
You buried it deep within your tough facade.
But I saw enough of it to know the real you,
The side which I haven't uncovered since that day.

At first, I couldn't let go.
I still miss you.
But I know it's over.